Over the last school year, there were several days where I would pick up Lennon from school and there was an invite to a birthday party in his cubbie. I do realize that under ordinary circumstances a birthday invite would be something exciting and if I truly know you and you truly know and love my child then it is! However, in most cases, (and I want to be clear - I am not taking away from the sincerity here) his entire class was invited and I have no doubt, while it was sincere, he was included because the family was kind enough to not want to leave anyone out. I appreciate that. I really do. And I hope you weren't offended when we did not show up.
The 1st thing I think when Lennon gets a birthday invite is... "where is the party going to be"? A park? Too scary. A bounce house? Can I bring my other children? The house of the birthday girl or boy? Too many unknowns. And then I fall. Into a black hole where my mind spirals out of control with every possible scenario and how will I solve any potential problems and what if they don't have cupcakes or what if they don't have the kind of cake he likes or what if he doesn't like the food that's served or what if we bring our own food and they get offended and you see? SPIRALING. OUT. OF. CONTROL.
The truth of it all is I see myself bringing him to party and I prepare myself for "the worst" and I count down the hours until the party is over. Sounds fun, doesn't it? For those who don't know, my son loves cake frosting. He loves fruit and bunny (and goldfish) crackers and he loves hot dogs. The food he loves, he loves with a passion (he is my child, after all) and where there's a will, there's a way. He won't think twice about walking right up to the birthday cake and sticking his fingers right in it. He will also walk right up to your plate and take a piece of food right off it. And it used to mortify me. Yes... "used to". I've spent the better part of his life constantly redirecting him and correcting him and trying to change him. And I am sick and tired of hearing my own voice calling out to him because he's running away too far or because he's "at it again" with the cake or food. And the last thing I want him to do is upset the birthday boy or girl. So... we avoid the situation entirely. Because not only am I in a position where I have to constantly watch Lennon and call out to him and stop him from giving into temptation, I am also profusely apologizing to the parents. And then we leave and I think, thank goodness that's over. And we will most likely not get another invite again. Which I am ok with because my brain and my throat hurt from all the thinking and loud talking.
Now, please don't get me wrong. I understand the "rules of life" and I know that my child "shouldn't" be sticking his fingers in other peoples cake or on other peoples plates of food and I know that he "should" have better manners. Do you see where I'm going with this? In the grand scheme of things I know this behavior is not acceptable by most standards and that's exactly why we simply avoid the scenario entirely. I work with him at home and I work with him with friends and the last thing I want is to work with him at a party where fun is the name of the game. And the truth is... I am not sorry. I'm just not. I am done apologizing for my sons behavior because what he does is who he is and who he is, is magic to me. His heart and soul are genuine and he loves with his whole heart. And if you're lucky enough to have this kid love you than I promise you, you are better for it. I know we are.
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