Voice Over Matter

My children have a voice.  And their voices vary.  At any given time I can get a happy, sad, angry, loud, quiet, compassionate, kind or  assertive voice from them.  And the thing I need to consistently remind myself is that regardless of what tone is carrying their ever so important voice it is my job to hear them.  And to continue to teach them that their voice matters.

Having 3 children with 3 very different ways of communication has led me to hastily impose expectations when I see an advancement in any one of them. Anabelle is 8 years old and up until recently I admit I used her developmental progress as a measure of where I expected Lennon to be by now.  That expectation has only led me to feel like a failure in his development.  And that gets us nowhere.  Lennon's journey through life is his own and how dare I measure his abilities or development against anyone else.  I will remind myself to stop it.  Over and over.  

And then Tiger came along and completely rocked my world.  At the age of 2 he spoke more to me than his older siblings combined and of course that led me to expect WAY more from him.  So I remind myself that it isn't fair to expect so much from him simply because he is developing at a pace that he's "supposed" to be.  My brain hurts.

I realize that Anabelle, Lennon and Tiger are on different paths in life and while I want so badly to set their paths for them, it simply is not up to me.  I will take cues from them and help to guide them along the way.  I will remind myself, and others, that they are little human beings and their world is still so new.  And I will watch them to see what moves them and encourage them to take part in that aspect of life.  Learning these things is so tough.  Some of the hardest lessons ever.  Children can teach you a lot, if you just listen.  And while I find myself constantly asking them to listen to me, I don't think I listen to them enough.  I may be their mother, but we are all on the same team.  Team KornicKrew.  Foreva.

I need to cut my kids some slack.  And myself, I suppose.  

That is all.