The Fight. And how it changed me.

I am pretty sure I was born with an affliction toward fighting.  For good.  For a cause.  For something. For someone. For anything, really.  There has always been a spark within, that when ignited would light up the room.  I was never afraid of a fight and I rarely backed down from one.  When I was young, fighting never amounted to anything.  I was heading down a path of self destruction without any real methodology behind it.  And as I grew, so did that spark.

Then... I became a mother.  Someone I wanted to be since as far back as I can remember.  

My name is Anita and I am an Autism Parent.  

Being a special needs mama has rocked my world.  I am still a fighter and still never back down, however, this time there are actual stakes involved.  The highest of the high.  

From day one I was a changed person.  Of course.  Being a mama changes us as we transform into this person who all of a sudden just knows how to keep a tiny little human alive. Our instincts become our guide and we feed, love, comfort, soothe, hug, kiss, clean, guide, nourish, watch, as our little beings grow and become the magical people they were meant to be.  And for my family that looked different than how I imagined it would.  We had those conversations with Doctors and neurologists and eye dr.'s and without any real answers had to live in this world where my kids were "different" and not "acting like their peers".

Learning about Autism and other special needs was not even on my radar when I had kids.  I wasn't planning on joining a fight against unconstitutional laws that would try to force me to further inject my children with the very same toxins that triggered their neurological disorder in the 1st place.  I didn't plan on igniting that spark to speak up and be vocal on behalf of my rights and the rights of my children.  I did not plan on becoming the advocate I am today.  

Most of the time I am content to just stay home and avoid people and situations entirely, but standing in the back and watching the world go by doesn't effect change.  So I stand up.  And we step out. And I seek answers.  Sure, I'm tired; Exhausted even.  But that doesn't matter.  What matters is that I continue to fight for what they need... occupational therapy, speech therapy, sensory integration therapy, IEP's, researching, educating.  Just as autism is a spectrum of disorders, so is the way in which we approach it.  If you are not sure what this means, please ask me.  If you are curious about what our world is like, simply ask.  My spectrum spitfires are unlike any other.  And when you find yourself making assumptions or thinking you know what it's like, please remember one of my favorite quotes, "If you've met ONE person with autism, you've met ONE person with autism." ~Stephen Shore  

My children have their own unique way in which they view the world and it's my job to teach the world about them, not the other way around.  This life of ours isn't always pretty.  We cry.  We break. We recover.  I may be a wolf at heart, but "I'm only human on the inside".  And I now know that the fight I was born with was really the spark I needed to light the way for my children. Unconditionally.